Day 7 - March 8

Today is my 67th birthday. Never in a million years did I think I would be celebrating this day without David. I've felt pretty emotionally centered most of the time here. Had a few hours where the tears didn't want to stop. Today was a combination of happiness and sorrow, for sure. Tim went and got me a beautiful latte while I was doing my morning shower. He hollered at me to wrap a towel around myself and come out when he got back. It was so sweet of him and his love is strong and solid. I appreciate his kindness so much.

We had breakfast at the hotel today and it was delicious. Headed to the St. Elena Cloud Forest right after breakfast. This was a beautiful rain forest that was so densely populated with forest that you could see nothing but jungle from every angle. Our hiking goal today, per our tour guide Jimmy, was to see the rare Quetzal bird. This is the most beautiful bird in Costa Rica and it is their time to nest right now. We were unable to see one however. The challenge is that the bird is green and blends with the forest and until they start mating, they do not use their voices. Right now, they are just building nests and are very quiet. It was still wonderful to be in the forest and hear all the birds singing, smell the trees and feel the peace. 

After the hike, the bus brought us back to downtown Monteverde and dropped everyone off to find their own lunch. Tim and I ate at a wonderful restaurant that served bowls - I had a Thai bowl and Tim had a Poke bowl. Both were delicious. After lunch, we opted to skip the bus and walked back to the hotel. It was a short walk - probably a half mile or so but it was so steep!! Good grief. Your chin was on your knees for much of the walk. But I need it. Oye. Eating so much more than is common for me. 

At 2;30 pm, we headed to chocolate/sugar cane/coffee tour at the Don Juan plantation. It was interesting but the chocolate and sugar cane parts were similar to what we've already seen. And although the tour guide was charming, neither of the tours were as comprehensive or as good as what we had already done. The coffee tour was new to us and it was enjoyable. Learned about the coffee harvesting and roasting process. More manual labor. Costa Rica only sells quality coffee, not quantity. Because of this, the coffee must be harvested by hand to make sure the beans are the correct ripeness when picked. Just amazing all the manual labor here for bananas, pineapples and coffee. It is truly staggering to think humans are doing all this work and not machines. We enjoyed chocolate, sugar cane juice with lime and coffee after each of the respective tours. 

Coming back to the downtown area, the bus stopped at a restaurant for dinner. This is a special place known for viewing sunsets and it was beautiful. Dinner was on EF tonight and we had drinks, appetizers, main dishes and desserts! Wow. Lots of food and all of it delicious. Jimmy, the tour director, surprised me with a cake and candle and everyone sang happy birthday to me. It was so sweet. I've had a challenging day with several times where I literally could not stop crying. I am experiencing happiness and joy but I am so torn up with the loss of David. It is impossible to reconcile. I miss him and my life feels like it has been blow up and I'm trying to catch all the pieces blown into the air, and then figure out where they go and what to do with them. My life feels unreal much of the time. My relationship with Matt feels strange, especially when I am not with him. I am unsure of what I'm able to sustain or how I'm going to feel. I get scared of everything. After dinner, Tim and I opted to do that steep walk again! But nothing I do today will use up all the food I've eaten. I'd have to run a half marathon and that probably wouldn't do it. 

It has been a wonderful time in Costa Rica. I am building and living. Learning to put one foot in front of the other and continue experiencing joy with David not here. Our visit here is coming to an end and I will be home soon. One more day in San Jose tomorrow.